~a column by Colleen O’Brien
Another new year, another resolution.
Over the many New Years, my resolves dissolved within the minute. I don’t know this at that minute because the proof does not happen until the next day – first day of resolution. I forget to do it, refuse to do it, tell myself I’ll start tomorrow.
This one, my 2025 resolution, I can’t even write down because I am a seriously confused person: I don’t want to do it; I must do it.
It’s been at least a whole minute, and I remain unwilling to write a word involving my possible latest resolution.
My compulsion to turn a corner with this new resolution is strong. It’s been building for a few months. And the New Year is an apt time.
There are more than plenty of people who do what I do, so why overload the market with this particular commentarian’s political opinion? Who needs it? Why be a slave to the news cycle, when it disturbs me so? Write about something else. Quit thinking it’s my job to write to others complaining and explaining so they can get as ticked off as I am.
According to myself, I can write, and I like giving away to others parts of my studied opinion. They can read it or not. That part is irrelevant; I simply must write it even if no one reads it. It’s in me, and I have to get it out.
What hogwash. What hubris. My self-satisfied ego wants me to continue along this road of spiritual ruin, a perdition of a sort. If I pursue this route, I’ll become a full-fledged cynic. The enough-already side of my heart and brain are urging me on to happy awakenings, pleasant sunsets, funny stories. True stories with no point, just good tales of hilarity and happenstance. No horrific stories of the future turned on us like a firehose manned by thoughtless politicians, greedy corporations and weak media.
Sigh. I cannot do it. Yet. Alas and alack. (What does ‘alack’ mean? Oh, yes — regret.) Which side is regret? If I change my tune? If I keep banging the same keys?
I should be able to tell you next week. Or quit writing into the great void.
We’ll see. As I write, it is January 6, the anniversary of an attack on our Capitol four years ago. It didn’t happen again this year only because of who won. So now, we don’t have a ruined historically revered site but a frightening new administration.
Happy New Year.
