~a column by Mary Weaver
Memorial Day weekend will soon arrive. A time when families gather to remember loved ones and kick off the summer season. Graduations are past, final grades issued, the corn and beans are in the ground, and in general life seems less regimented.
As an aging parent, adult children become overly protective. Just as when they were teens and didn’t share their life secrets with us, we don’t tell them little aging misfortunes. A recent one was forgetting to take the lens cap off the camera, or going to the supply closet for a food item and having to go back into the kitchen because you didn’t remember why you went to the supply closet.
I have a refrigerator safety gestapo person that will soon be coming to our home. Anything outdated is confiscated and tossed into the trash. This might be cheese, salad dressing, or sour cream with only a little purple fuzz on the edge.
These expiration dates have led me to think about other life event dates, wedding date, pregnancy due date, overdue books date, along with a life expiration date.
First the definitions:
Sell by date: Refrigerated products most often have sell-by dates on the labels. Stores use this date to know when to remove products from shelves. You can eat food after the sell-by date. For example, dairy products are good for one week after the sell-by date.
Best if used by date: Eat your food before this date for the best flavor and quality. Your food doesn’t spoil after this date, but it may dry out or not taste as good.
Pack dates. Manufacturers and retailers use this date to track and rotate inventory.
Expiration dates: These products may not function the same after the date listed. Yeast may not be as effective. Medications may not offer the same results.
Okay, family refrigerator gestapo member, we are not going to perish if we have expired items in the refrigerator.
Due dates: The obstetrician had a little slide rule type of measure. I am certain this is now done electronically via a computer. On my first visit to confirm the pregnancy, he asked some questions and then determined my delivery date would be Sept. 15. That was easy. Casseroles were made in advance, closets and drawers cleaned, diapers purchased, along with formula and baby bottles. Except it wasn’t exactly that way.
EDD, estimated due date, is not a deadline for your baby to arrive. Just 4 percent of babies are born on their EDD. I twiddled my thumbs and rubbed my aching back for four long days.
Library due dates: I was raised to cherish books, and books checked out from the local library came with a reverent responsibility. Having a book overdue was tragic, not because of the fine, but rather a failure of responsibility. Recently our dog Bella ate a library book. I didn’t even want to see the librarian, so I took a picture, submitted it electronically with an offer to replace the edition Bella had devoured. Thankfully, she was very understanding.
Personal expiration date: This one is very touchy but has been on my mind this past week. A former close co-worker recently passed away very unexpectedly . When I notified a mutual friend who has resided in long term care for 4-1/2 and years, she quickly remarked, “She is lucky.”
My friend thought she had saved adequately for her end-of-life care, but the 4-plus years will soon be forcing her to accept Medicaid services. She reimburses the facility $10,000 per month for care. Scheduled showers three times a week, frequently are only two. Call light wait times are up to 90 minutes because of inadequate staffing. She highly resents regimentation, and frequently says “NO” to starting her shower at 6 am.
She is ready for an identified personal expiration date.
A little history…….
Assisted suicide in the United States was brought to public attention in the 1990s with the highly publicized case of Dr. Jack Kevorkian. Kevorkian assisted more than 40 people in dying by suicide in Michigan. His first public assisted suicide was in 1990, of Janet Adkins, a 54-year-old woman diagnosed with early-onset Alzheimer’s disease. He was charged with murder, but charges were dropped on Dec. 13, 1990, because there were no Michigan laws outlawing suicide or the medical assistance of it, so he was not in violation of the law.
In 1998, Kevorkian videotaped himself giving a man a lethal injection, with the patient’s consent, and aired the tape on 60 Minutes. This was significantly different from previous cases, where it was always the patients themselves who reportedly completed the suicide process. He was found guilty of second-degree murder and served eight years of a 10–25-year sentence. He was released in 2007 and died on June 3, 2011.
While I do not have a personal expiration date, I have authorized medical power of attorney to my children and have confidence they will not allow the initiation of unnecessary life saving measures.
The end-of-life discussion is important for you to have with your partner and offspring while they are tossing the purple fuzzed sour cream into the trash.
View from My WINDOW is written by Mary Weaver from her rural home near Rippey.
