Living in a lying culture affects us all

~a column by Colleen O’Brien

Who do I trust?

Not Microsoft. I was hacked this past winter and nearly paid out a thousand dollars to update my Microsoft. It was not Microsoft emailing me and talking to me, even though the logo I was looking at was exactly like Microsoft’s, and the guy talking to me sounded authentic [What does that mean, Colleen?] I was saved by my daughter, a little savvier than I, and the real Microsoft apologized that their armor had been pierced, “and you’ll be fine now.” Really?

Not The New York Times. I was happy to get in on the deal in which I paid $4 a month for a digital Times six days a week…until I wasn’t. But I was getting its bill on my credit card statement anyway. Talking to them became frustratingly futile because they suddenly had a different email than what I used initially. And they thought I was lying. $4 isn’t much, but it’s my $4. And I don’t think the NYT needs a present from me every month. But if they think I’m the liar, we are like our country itself – no reconciliation in sight.

And there is the recent history of the Times and other mediaprinting and saying whatever outrageous thing a political candidate says even though they’d been reporting on him for decades and know quite a bit about him that isn’t pleasant. They may tell us later but right now they’re selling papers.

And speaking of newspapers, there is the “amusing” war between the reporters and the headline writers that’s been going on for years. Did the headline writer really read the story? Was he getting even with an arrogant writer? Was he just lazy that day? Callous? I laughed at the headlines that had nothing to do with the story until it happened to me. The article was about my fear of speaking in public, with the sexual innuendo headline “I did it!”  The best-read story of the day.

Obviously, lying is nothing new. It’s not illegal to lie unless you’re lying to a judge. It’s just that in the past decade, lying has taken on a cultural imperative, as in, it is cool to lie; it is no longer shocking to discover the truth after a lie; the liar is never embarrassed to be exposed; he just lies some more. And if we’re fed the headline lie 24-7, no one is immune. The sucker joke “don’t believe your lyin’ eyes or ears” makes it worse . . . you’ll fall for anything it says.

So, soon I believe nothing I hear or see having to do with the media.

 The entrapment joke “Do you still beat your wife?” is a cousin to “Ask a liar if he’s lying, and whether he says ‘yes’ or ‘no,’ you can’t believe him.”

The commercial realm of life has long been accused of exaggerating, just another form of lying, and the caveat has long been “buyer beware.” The political realm of life has long been lying as well, which is why only 37 percent of voters voted during George W. Bush’s second election. Many of us were appalled and ashamed of the low turnout, but those who did not vote had been paying attention to the difference it made if you voted or not. None, in their studied – or intuited – opinion. They weren’t the ones we should have been chastising.

After the last few years of dedicated following of the news, I’m over it. I live with my inherited backbone beliefs that I adopted when not everyone lied.

Was I being fooled then? No one wants to be caught a sucker.

I settled on cynicism, which really irritates my Pollyannaism, but I laugh more. If you need a break from it all, try a true cynic who remains a political activist (meaning he believes in something):

Comedian/political activist Jon Stewart thinks like this: “I have complete faith in the continued absurdity of whatever’s going on.”

See next week for “the other side of the story.”

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