~a column by Mary Weaver
PETER, PETER, PUMPKIN EATER / HAD A WIFE AND COULDN’T KEEP HER
PUT HER IN A PUMPKIN SHELL / AND THERE HE KEPT HER VERY WELL.
Oh my, how many times did I read that nonsensical nursery rhyme to our children. I have vivid recall of the “Little Golden Book” depicting a woman in a pumpkin looking out a window, at a male figure. Why was that considered appropriate? Was Peter exhibiting signs of domestic violence?
October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month. Domestic violence is defined as the willful intimidation, physical assault, battery, sexual assault, and/or other abusive behavior as a part of a systematic pattern of power and control perpetrated by one intimate partner against another. It includes physical violence, sexual violence, threats, and emotional abuse.
Thirty-five percent of Iowa women and 29 percent of Iowa men experience intimate partner physical violence, sexual violence, and/or stalking in their lifetimes according to data available from the National Coalition against Domestic Violence.
In 1989 the U.S. Congress passed a public law designating October of that year as National Domestic Violence Awareness Month. During DVAM, victim advocates, allied professionals, survivors of abuse, their loved ones, and the surrounding community come together to mourn the lives lost to domestic violence, celebrate the progress that has been made to end this epidemic, and connect with others working to create change.
When it is a viable option, it is best for victims to do what they can to escape their abusers. However, this is not the case in all situations. Abusers repeatedly go to extremes to prevent the victim from leaving. In fact, leaving an abuser is the most dangerous time for a victim of domestic violence.
I wanted to learn Greene County sheriff Jack Williams’ thoughts regarding safety concerns for law enforcement around domestic violence. “Deputies here in Greene County are required by policy to wear bullet proof vests anytime we are working in uniform. For domestics we park a block or so away from the call in most instances so that a patrol vehicle pulling up is not a warning that we are there. When knocking on a door[we] never stand directly in front of the door. Most of the time we knock on the door and then step away from the door a few feet to give us more reaction time and space, or if we can see in windows we will try and observe as much as we can before going to the door. For most of the calls that we go to there is a inherit danger.”
Readers should be aware an abuser often denies the existence or minimizes the seriousness of the violence, may objectify the victim, and view them as their property. The abuser may blame their behavior on stress, the partner’s actions, alcohol, or other mind-altering drugs.
The Iowa Coalition Against Domestic Violence supports a statewide network of 22 survivor programs, connects survivors with the assistance they need, and advocates for policy and community transformation to make Iowa a safer place for everyone. Greene County persons will find assistance at the Assault Care Center in Ames or by calling 1-800-203-3488.
Please retain and/ or post this number in public places during October.
~Mary Weaver, chair of the Democratic Women’s Caucus, writes from her home in rural Rippey.
