~Interview by Colleen O’Brien
“All of us can be advocates,” said S. Sophie Bierker, author and advocate for victims of sexual abuse.
“We need to listen, to talk to them – finally, to protect them,” she said. “Now is the time. With, first of all, the abuse revealed within the Catholic church and then in other churches, in the Boy Scouts, with doctors in Olympic training, among coaches in all sports, and, at last, because of the advent of the MeToo movement, we are just beginning to come out of the Dark Ages.”
With a history of childhood sexual abuse and adult domestic sexual abuse herself, Bierker obtained a Masters in Social Work in order to help, as a therapist, people heal from their abuse.
Her increasing focus is to raise awareness and educate people on the frighteningly widespread, criminal, sickening underbelly of sexual exploitation in this country. She is a prime candidate to both coach and inform; she’s been there, her eyes are wide open, and she is passionate about helping the abused, and enlightening the rest of us.
With the arrest of child trafficker Jeffrey Epstein, Bierker’s ire escalated. Stories spread across the media about his life as a snatcher of young girls via a stable of older women he corrupted via non-consensual sex to lure girls as young as 10. Bierker believes that the scope of his reach and the age of his victims have outraged the public, and she is now even more adamant about society paying attention to sexual predation flourishing right in front of us, filling a “need” of men to have sex with children.
“We cannot keep closing our eyes and pretending we don’t see what’s going on,” she said. “The abuse is too horrible. The only saving grace is that, although victims are mentally and emotionally damaged, with care and understanding, they can heal and become survivors.”
Her book, Me, Too! Child and Adult Sexual Abuse and Prevention, is a history, a collection of case studies and a primer on “how to” for a country – “actually, a world,” she said – to begin to rid itself of the heartbreaking lethal treatment of women, boys and girls by sexual predators.
Bierker believes that our blindness to what’s happening stems from our own fear of making waves or of shining a light on doctors, lawyers, ministers, teachers – respected members of our communities.
“Most sexual abuse is not done by strangers,” she said. “It is almost always done by someone well-known to the abused, someone trusted – a father, an uncle, a brother, a neighbor, a teacher, a doctor, a priest, a coach.”
That statement is shocking to consider, but it does make it understandable how the abuse has continued so silently through the ages. The perpetrator knows he is protected by the culturally engrained trait of other humans to not tell on “good guys” – the family member, the community icon, the priest or minister, the banker, the successful, the famous, the rich, the powerful and even just the popular.
“Our children are being sacrificed for greed,” she said. “Sexual predation is not about sex; it is about money and power – and fear – the fear of the children abused telling anyone about who is doing what to them. And the fear of people who should be protecting their children but are afraid to rock the boat.
Even with her 30 years of sex abuse counseling and life coach advocacy, even with her trail of articles, lectures and counseling sessions on how to live with sex abuse in one’s past, when it came time to write her book, Bierker had to do research regarding what was available on the Internet for men interested in children.
“I couldn’t believe I could still be shocked,” she said. “The training films on websites teaching men how to stretch a little girl’s vagina for easier penetration was one that horrified me, although it was the 5-month-old baby that had been sexually abused that sickened me most.”
These are not subjects to easily stomach, but the problem is not that we are too tender to be exposed to facts about such unspeakable behavior by our fellow humans, it is that the filth is being carried on with impunity, with easy access and at no cost – on Google, Facebook and other platforms – and that we do nothing about it.
“It is such a sad thing to realize that it has to take a MeToo movement by women of stature, or the arrest of a wealthy pervert known to the rich and famous across continents for us to be able to point out the men to public scrutiny, investigate their behaviors and imprison them.”
Her anger is often for the law: “A male who picks up a child off the streets and rapes her will get a prison sentence; yet a “john” (one who rapes the child while sex trafficking him or her) who is caught gets a slap on the wrist and may get a fine and walks.”
She reminds that predators seldom come out of the woods. “Johns come from all walks of life and are possibly the doctor, minister, school teacher or other respected professional.”
Although Bierker has advertised her book, given it away, set up lectures and book signings and offered free workshops to school districts, very few organizations respond. “They – people – just don’t want to deal with it,” she said. “It is so unbelievable that we are looking away.”
She added how maddening it is that responsible adults’ unwillingness to educate that even offering her skills free in teaching children according to their age how to say no to anyone on the prowl is met with no response. “It is very easy to tell a child, ‘Do not let anyone touch you wherever your bathing suit covers your body.’ They don’t even want that.”
Bierker’s book is available on Amazon and may be ordered on her website www.MeTooCoaching.net. Information on her life coaching for victims can be obtained also on the website. To talk to her or book her for a lecture or training, you may call Bierker at 941-922-5908. “I Facetime and Zoom to do counseling sessions,” she said.
“I call myself the survivor to thriver coach,” she said. “And now might be a time that people need me. With the isolating at home that we are living through, the longer it goes on, the more we need to be aware that there is an uptick in the sexual abuse of children along with an increase in spousal abuse of women.”
She added an irony that sickens: “The perpetrators are a little bit less concerned about anyone finding out. The virus is giving them immunity from getting caught.”
Almost too much to grasp, but something we must be aware of is that as COVID-19 attacks and kills, sexual abusers lurk right alongside, preparing to kill heart and soul.
